5 ways to stop overanalyzing everything your boss does

5 ways to stop overanalyzing everything your boss does5 ways to stop overanalyzing everything your boss doesA shortlist of phrases your boss can say that will push you right into panic modeK.I got it. Thanks.Oh. Nevermind.Can we talk in my office, please?Everyone will admit to sometimes worrying about the state of their employment, whether they think theyre doing a stellar job or a lackluster one. While a bit of angst is to be expected, if you find yourself constantly over-analyzing and fretting over everything your manager does, doesnt do, says or doesnt sayyou might be tumbleweeding into a dark place. Career coach and co-founder Jill Tipograph explains this habits is a defense mechanism for people who are trying to make sense of a situation that feels like no path will lead to a successful outcome. When a request comes from the manager, the employee starts to internally raise questions about how to plan or shape the deliverable, she continues. At first it seems like normal work str ess, but in an environment where the employee does not feel safe to openly ask those questions of the manager, or perhaps tried to ask the questions and welches shut down from that line of inquiry, the downward spiral of over-analyzing begins.So how do you cut it out already? Here, the pros share their valuable insightChannel your stress in a different wayHave you ever attempted to reason with a toddler? More often than not, the only way to calm their fears is to direct their attention toward a new toy, task or, well, shiny thing. Though it might not seem like an effective technique, say, for an adult- Tipograph explains it can be quite effective. Because youre flinging yourself off the ledge, you need a better source to pour this energy into. You need to create a strategy to channel this energy to actual work product output, getting the work done, while at the same time addressing this information gap that is causing your stress, she explains. Cycling through these thoughts, is wh at keeps people from falling asleep or distracts them from time they need to spend getting important things done. What are some examples? Writing, exercise, meditation, chatting with a trusted friend who wont let you talk for yours are great starting points.Confirm with your manager Ever have one of those days where youre spending more time researching what to do, instead of doing it? Or second-guessing every left move, so you backtrack, make a right and doubt yourself again? This usually happens when youre assigned a project that has many question marks dangling above it. Tipograph explains whether youre confused about the scope, the deadline, the facets or any of it, take a breath and pause. Set aside five minutes on your managers calendar and walk through it one more time. Play back to your manager very quickly, the exact work you will get underway on immediately, and list out your open questions with your suggestions formulated, she suggests. If the manager never responds, simpl y work on the core elements first, and then proceed to the enhancements that remain unclear. By approaching a project this way, you save yourself hassle and headaches, and can begin to put your nose to the grind. Resolve any uncomfortable situationsMuch like being left out of the party list to a wedding you thought youd be invited to, when your boss doesnt include you on a meeting- you might raise an eyebrow. And then, of course, spend hours trying to figure out if youre being fired or if they simply dont respect your opinion. Instead of worrying, Tipograph says to well, ask to be included on future opportunities. Or, if they took an angry tone with you in a brainstorm or discussion, address how you feel ASAP. Do not let it fester in your mind. Find the courage to ask, privately, if he was having a bad day, in general, versus starting to probe if it was related to you personally, she continues. In a virtual meeting environment, it is possible that something upsetting distracted her/ him and it was unrelated to you or your work. However, if it was directed at you, ask that he find a way to give you negative feedback in a one-on-one versus team setting, as you can then ask questions to better understand how to approach a project in stronger manner. Identify your triggersIs it when youre passed over for a promotion? On Fridays, when your manager has one foot out the door at noon? Or perhaps when everyone is meant to come together to collect ideas, and yours feel discounted. Whatever the trigger, knowing which ones can send you into a spiral will help you alleviate their weight. Tipograph says when youre able to pinpoint the cause, youre making a big improvement personally and professionally. Reigning in the tendency to overanalyze may make you realize that your negative frame of mind is because you are stressed about something, unrelated to management, and are simply aiming your thoughts at your manager rather than those more generalized concerns which is unhealth y for you, and unfair to your manager, she explains. As you can learn to recognize when you trigger this behavior and redirect yourself, you will find it easier in the future to shorten the cycle of over analysis.Learn to validate yourselfPart of the reason we ask for second opinion- on what were wearing, on our cover letter, on how the pasta sauce taste- is we need validation. But heres the kicker you probably already know youre doing just fine. Mentor and business coach Christine Agro recommends creating a checks-and-balance with yourself, where you try to understand why youre overthinking your bosss actions. Is it because of their actions- or your insecurities? When we look for others to tell us that we are good or doing a good job, our power rests in their acknowledgment. Learn to find value in the work you do and the person you are, and chances are, youll stop overanalyzing, she says.

The In-Basket Exercise and How to Use It

The In-Basket Exercise and How to Use ItThe In-Basket Exercise and How to Use ItIts a dog-eat-dog world out there and businesses advertising for help or that otherwise put out the word that theyre hiring can be inundated with applications. Many of them come from qualified applicants, making the decision as to who to hire particularly difficult. Enter the in-basket exercise. Its an activity (a tool, really) that can help befhigung employers gauge how well applicants perform job-related tasks within a certain period of time. Some exercises also test applicants prioritization skills. Theyre called in-basket exercises because employees used to have physical in-baskets on their desks where others would place assignments to be completed. Thats not always the case today, but most employees do have some method or procedure in place by which they can track their work assignments. When These Exercises Take Place In-basket exercises are usually administered when candidates come in for bewer bungsgesprchs. They complete the exercises immediately before or after the interview. The hiring manager uses information from the application materials, as well as from the interview and the exercise, to make a decision on which candidate will receive a job offer. Elements of the Exercise When managers want to test applicants prioritization skills, they may put more tasks in the exercise than can be completed within the given amount of time. Managers should tell applicants when this is the case. Otherwise, candidates might be leery about taking the job because they perceive the hiring manager has unrealistic expectations on how much work can realistically be completed on a certain schedule. Most applicants believe that theyre expected to complete the entire exercise within the assigned time period, and this is a reasonable assumption, particularly if theyve never faced in-basket exercises before. But the manager actually expects them to complete the most important tasks first, then any others that can be tackled and completed within the allotted timeframe. Failing to inform the candidates they dont have to complete the entire exercise completely defeats the purpose of seeing how candidates prioritize the tasks within the exercise. Tips for Applicants Candidates should work quickly to complete in-basket exercises, but not so fast that they become sloppy. After all, employers are not just looking for speed but for competence as well.If they have time, candidates should read over their completed exercises before they turn them over to the hiring manager. Theres no advantage in finishing early if the work is sloppy, and theres no shame in taking the whole time to complete the jobs well. Some Examples of In-Basket Exercises A manager is hiring an administrative professional to assist her. She devises an in-basket exercise that includes editing a piece of written correspondence, completing a purchase requisition and filling out a travel voucher.The hiri ng process for a public information officer position might include an in-basket exercise which is comprised of writing a press release, responding to a reporters written questions and providing feedback on a draft brochure intended for the general public. If youre a potential employee, an in-basket exercise can be your opportunity to shine and show off your amazing skills. If youre an employer, it takes you a step beyond the written resume and the interview questions to help ensure that youre hiring the best person for the job.

I left my life behind to travel Here are 10 lessons I learned

I left my life behind to travel Here are 10 lessons I learnedI left my life behind to travel Here are 10 lessons I learnedDuring the summer of 2014 I hopped a plane and left behind Quito, Ecuador I had lived and taught English there for five years. Life had become a dull, dark, dreary (insert abedrngnisher word for depressing) hole and I welches desperate to climb out. I broke up with my fianc, left behind everything I owned except for a suitcase, and traveled around Europe. I visited lots of different countries, had crazy adventures, and met kindred spirits that will be friends for life.I would like to say it welches all a bit Eat, Pray, Love but some might say it welches more Bridget Jones. Either way, I learned a number of lessons from all this traveling. For example, do not try to stay awake for 36 hours, because you will inevitably embarrass yourself by doing something stupid like trying to walk up the down escalator at the airport (true story). Also, in Ukraine, vodka is cheape r than water (also true).A number of things I learned from traveling can also be used in everyday life, and these are the lessons I share with you below.1. You cannot truly know yourself unless you spend time aloneAfter breaking off an extremely unhappy relationship, I was free for the first time in years. A weight the size of Donald Trumps toupee had been lifted off my shoulders. The first questions I asked myself wereWho am I as in individual?What do I like to do when Im alone?What do I, myself, like to eat?Who am I when talking to new people?The great thing about traveling was being in a new country where nobody knew me and I could be whoever I wanted to be.In Canary Islands, I lived in a small village on the water. I started doing yoga every morning on the secluded beach and sharing my thoughts with the ocean.I started free writing daily, and enjoying getting to know myself again. During this time, I became friends with myself again, and its been a happy relationship ever since. 2. The best pictures you will ever take are stored in your mind as memoriesLook up travel or wanderlust on Instagram and you will inevitably be met with photos of charming women doing marvelous things.Theyll be standing on mountain tops in sports bras, hair billowing perfectly in the breeze. Theyll be standing on beaches with white sand and clear blue water, bikini body on full display, and possibly doing an advanced yoga pose.While travel photos on Instagram are entertaining to look at, its important to enjoy them simply for their aesthetic and realize they arent real. What strikes me most about these photo is the amount of work it takes to get them.There were a few months during my travels when I was obsessed with increasing my follower count. I spent more time trying to get the most perfect shot of me walking down the promenade in Nice than actually enjoying the view.I was that girl on the beach doing yoga while in Turkey. I would sip cold hot chocolate in Ukraine after spending 30 minutes trying to get a perfect picture of my cup next to my glasses on the table.When I got married and my husband started calling himself an Instagram husband, (those poor guys you see taking pictures of their wives in front of perfect brick walls) it was time to stop cold turkey. I deleted my Instagram, never to return.Now, my travels involve being in the present moment and taking in where I am, all saved in my memories. Also, cocoa tastes better hot.3. In general, most human beings are actually good peopleI lived in Lviv, Ukraine for three months and will forever consider it one of the best periods in my life - it was a big city with the feeling of a small town community.The second day I was there, I messaged about 10-15 people on Couch Surfing to see if they wanted to get a drink or show me around the city. I quickly received messages from just about everyone, telling me they would take me to the mall, ice skating, clubbing, to get coffee, and do everything in between.Befor e going to Ukraine, I was apprehensive about it. The conflict had just started in Crimea and I didnt know much about the country at all. But, once I got there, I realized that they were the most welcoming people, and were so happy to show a foreigner around their city.I learned that in general, most human beings are good people, no matter where theyre from.4. You cannot have unforgettable experiences if you arent willing to put yourself out thereWhile living in Ecuador, I did many things that were adventurous and adrenaline inducing - zip-lining, paragliding, jumping off waterfalls, accidentally stepping in quick sand in the Amazon, and taking the city bus (trust me, it was dangerous).Every time I had to do anything that made me nervous, there was always an apprehensive voice in the back of my mind saying, maybe you shouldnt do that. But, I told it to sit down and shut up.The only things you take with you when you die are the experiences you had here on earth.5. There are sad, lone ly, dark moments - but that doesnt mean its not worth itJust as in life, travel is made up of all kinds of moments, including the ones youd be happy to forget.Not long after arriving in Europe, I was in a weird place emotionally. I was in Dijon, France and it was right before Christmas. I walked to the supermarch and burst into tears in the cereal aisle, much to my eternal embarrassment.I wasnt crying about my ended relationship (not at all) and I wasnt crying out of loneliness. Honestly, looking back, Im not 100 percent sure why my tears were falling on to a box of frosted flakes. I think everything hit me all at once. Being in a new place, having no idea what I was going to do with my life it was somewhat of an existential crisis.Just because I was in France didnt mean I wouldnt experience an upsetting moment. Im still human, and life is not an Instagram photo.6. There is no better way to bring your thoughts to the present moment than to put yourself in a new environmentIf someon e asked me what the most peaceful, content moment of my life was, I could immediately come up with an answer.I was standing at the top of a hill, on a stone balcony in Zagreb, Croatia. I could see out over the whole city. It was Saturday, around 7am, so the city was quiet and empty. A street performer was playing a soothing song on his saxophone in the square below. I was eating a cinnamon bun. All of my senses felt the moment, and it was the most present Ive ever been.Being in a new environment sets your senses on fire and brings peace to your mind.7. Forget all the planning, because things rarely work out how you think they willWhen I lived in Ecuador, I planned on staying there permanently. I had a job teaching English, I was starting to make some friends, and I had an apartment. My life plan was set up well into the future. However, I was not happy where I was, and I needed to do something about it - but it took me five whole years to finally make that change.The ironic part is that my change involved going to Europe with no plan, no house, no job, and no clue. Most of the time in life, plans never work out how you think they will, but you will end up exactly where youre meant to be.8. We may all be very different people and come from very different cultures, but in the end, we all just want to be happyDuring my travels, Ive met lots of different people from a number of countries. I had a friend from Austria who wanted a job in the government, and to settle down with her boyfriend. I had a friend in Ukraine who was living the single life, and was more interested in her job at a technology company than settling down.Ive met people with wanderlust in their blood who adore traveling and have an addiction to adrenaline. Ive met people who loved living in one place and preferred to stay in the own community forever.The one thing all these people had in common was their desire to be happy and achieve their life goals. We may all be from different countries, but as human beings, were all the same.9. You dont need to own as many things as you think you do, and you can fulfill yourself in other waysI wasnt able to carry much makeup with me, and I didnt have any hair tools either (this meant my hair was au naturale, even in humid weather). My wardrobe consisted of two pairs of jeans, a few basic shirts, and one pair of shoes. The only souvenirs I took with me were my memories.I learned to do other things besides shopping. I found happiness outside of accumulating possessions. I experienced a profound sense of freedom in not having all kinds of material things to worry about, and I didnt base my worth on anything I owned.Ironically, I met my husband while I was in my most natural state. I found confidence in myself that wasnt based on how I looked, and allowed my inner beauty to do all the talking.10. A smile will get you very farYou would be surprised at the ways youll learn to communicate when you dont speak the language in a foreign country .For example, the time I had to moo like a cow to buy some beef at a butcher in a small village in Bulgaria, (it was either that, or end up with something really weird, like horse liver). The lady behind the counter laughed and we both found it amusing.What I have found most helpful in foreign countries is smiling. Most European people make fun of Americans for this, claiming were too friendly. But, smiling has always been my universal language, and it works every time.These days, with the amount of closed-mindedness, judgement, and ignorance that has unfortunately taken over the world, its important to realize all we can learn from each other.During my travels, it hasnt been the museums, tour guides, or castles that have taught me the most. All the lessons Ive learned have come from other people and learning about other cultures.The world may seem like a very big place, but as Ive made my way through it, Ive realized its pretty small after all.This articlefirst appeared on The Ever yGirl.